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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • “I use Linux as my operating system,” I state proudly to the > > unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair > > with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with > extreme precision. “Actually,” he says with a grin, “Linux is just > the kernel. you use GNU+Linux.” I don’t miss a beat and reply > with a smirk, “I use alpine, a distro that doesn’t include the > GNU coreutils, or any other GNU code. It’s Linux, but it’s not > GNU+Linux.”

    The smile quickly drops from the man’s face. His body begins > convulsing and he foams at the mouth as he drop to the floor > > with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams “I-IT > WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT’S STILL GNU!” > Coolly, I reply “if windows was compiled with gcc, would that > make it GNU?” I interrupt his response with “and work is being > made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even > if you were correct, you won’t be for long.”

    With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man’s life is ejected from > his body. he lies on the floor, cold and limp. I’ve > womansplained him to death.