Middle-aged gamer/creative/wiki maintainer
FFXIV, Genshin Impact, Tears of Themis, Rimworld, and more
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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 15th, 2023

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  • FOMO is a weird term to use here because it implies some anxiety that I could be seeing more stuff than I am.

    I get bored sometimes. There isn’t enough content here to keep me super engaged, and interesting niche subs about certain small games and whatnot are missed. I end up swapping back and forth between my front page here and my youtube recs, willing something interesting to appear.

    But I’m not feeling the slightest anxiety that I’m missing some stranger’s idea of wit on a site I don’t go to. There’s way too much internet for me to ever think I was seeing it all in the first place, so I’m more than fine with missing the latest lyric or pun comment chain or the hottest new AITA fiction.


  • harmonea@kbin.socialto> Greentext@lemmy.mlLove Burnout
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    8 months ago

    Met my husband playing an MMORPG. It grew naturally from regular chatting in guild to hanging out and doing random stuff in-game together to feelings. We’ve been married for over 15 years now.

    The trick was that neither of us was looking for romance and treated each other as friends until we gradually came to realize we really liked each other’s company more than a friendly amount. I think that’s the thing a lot of people get wrong; people get so worried about their love lives that they forget to just treat others as people instead of as potential partners.





  • Your comparison is still really, really unclear. Are you comparing the consumption of “extra products” for vegans vs vegetarians to the consumption of “extra products” for piracy?

    If so: Do you really not understand that limited physical demand differs from unlimited digital demand? If a vegetarian eats, idk, an egg a day… that’s an extra 365 eggs that had to be produced and were paid for, thus supporting the industry, when you could have hypothetically decreased demand and possibly caused a drop in production. Whereas the media consumed by pirates incur neither profit nor cost (in that if we assume they would never have paid for those goods in the first place, it isn’t a lost sale). There is no production cost for there to be 1 sold copy and 1 pirated copy vs 1 sold copy only.

    Though tbh, I’m just devil’s advocating the vegan position here. I really think you had a handful of bad encounters with militant vegans and assume the majority of the threadiverse thinks like that. And, well… we don’t? What even is this “lemmy culture”? The amount of confusion and responses that aren’t addressing the point you meant to make should show you that most of us are not engaging with this on the line of thought you assumed we would.




  • It’s a slow and difficult process, but yes. There are certain personality disorders that can be provably put into “remission,” and if people with conditions that severe can change their personalities, anyone can.

    You have to learn how you’ve been conditioned to think and feel the way you do, and get a lot of self-discipline re: stopping to notice your feelings, figure out why they’re arising, think through the consequences of acting on them, and choosing a better way.

    I hate to use terms like this since they’re so often the territory of conspiracy nutjobs, but you’re basically deprogramming yourself. For example, a sensitive person who’s been exposed to a lot of bullying might have learned some pretty intense defensive reaction, so you’d have to stop every time you think “what did he mean by that?” and think of why that’s your first reaction, then choose to believe the best possible meaning even though your feelings scream at you not to. And you’d maybe keep a journal to remind yourself of all the times you were right to assume the best, since a defensive mind discards the positive and overemphasizes the negative.

    This sort of thing is best accomplished with the aid of a mental health professional, but there are workbooks you can get if that’s out of cost/feasibility reach for you. You’d need to know your deal to know which ones to focus on.


  • I don’t really understand why you’re comparing these two things? One is a group of people refraining from consumption of certain goods for personal reasons - health, ethics, climate impact, whatever. The other is a group of people consuming arguably more goods than they (we tbh) deserve since we’re not willing or able to pay for it for one reason or another.

    A better analogy would be comparing piracy to… I don’t know, a veg-eater of whatever type who still enjoys the taste of bacon and resorts to stealing it because it’s better to hurt the meat industry than to pay? It’s a product that person really doesn’t really need and absolutely would have never paid for, yet the person still wants it and obtains it in a way that hurts the industry.

    (The analogy doesn’t hold up since stealing physical goods has a different impact than distributing digital copies, but it’s the best I’ve got off the cuff)

    E: okay, after reading your other comments, I’m both confident this didn’t address the point you wanted and confident I don’t really understand your deal well enough to do so. Both of these groups have some members who have a problem with industry practices and others who are into their chosen lifestyle for other reasons. It seems like you’ve made some odd decisions about which groups are most prevalent among each and are framing your premise around that, and I don’t think we’re going to see eye-to-eye on it when the premise is Like This.

    Or are you trying to say veganism should be more widely accepted because “DRM is wrong” is roughly equivalent to “animal suffering is wrong” re: “industry bad”?





  • You said you want good faith discussions, but you preemptively dismissed one of the biggest answers because you don’t think it’s a good solution. Then you have people here disagreeing with you, explaining why, and pointing to examples of it being done successfully, and you continue to completely dismiss a donation as nothing more than a “thank you” - how is this in any way a good faith discussion if any opposing viewpoint is immediately met with this kind of “YOU’RE the problem” response?

    I do understand your frustration in those cases in which donations fail, but it seems like you’re not willing to meet us halfway and acknowledge that sometimes, donations succeed, and not by accident or luck. There’s data there - test cases we could be picking apart and seeing what critical mass needs to be reached before an instance can reliably secure donations and what we can do for admins until their instances reach that threshold. But you’re just dismissing it as nonviable even though it clearly works for a lot of places.

    That is not good faith.


  • Do you think maybe being from “one of the whitest states” is why the people you know still track their descent so carefully? I’ve lived all over North America, and your experience definitely doesn’t match up with anywhere I’ve lived. Which is not to invalidate your experience, but I would strongly caution you against assuming it’s the norm. Most people I knew when I was still in the US pretty much settled on a color or just plain “American” for anything past about the third generation.

    Using a color descriptor like “white” or “black” isn’t inherently racist for those who don’t care so much about which boats all our very distant relatives were on hundreds of years ago, and it definitely doesn’t preclude empathy for those who are different from us.


  • I feel like you’re describing a pretty EU point of view here. Which is fine!

    But please understand that across the pond, we’ve been mixing people of various descents for so long that “white” is honestly the best descriptor many of us have. I allegedly have 5 different EU countries in my lineage and ain’t nobody got time to get into all that, especially when my ancestry isn’t interesting enough for me to know, let alone for me to inflict on others. Those details are just not that important to who I am today, whereas the experience I had over here because of my skin color had more sway over who I am now.


  • “Ginger” as a term is not, in itself, derogatory or hateful in my experience.

    Describing gingers as soulless or hot-tempered is about the same kind of destructive as describing blondes as stupid, which is to say it’s a silly stereotype that’s often the territory of playful insults between friends, while some small minority of people do run it into the ground and cause real hurt.

    (This might be exacerbated by tensions between England and Ireland in that specific area, but… for most of the world “ginger” is a pretty harmless thing.)


  • Agnosticism is a stance about epistemology, the nature of knowledge - what it’s possible to know or not know. Atheism is a stance about the nature of metaphysics and the supernatural - whether you think there are gods.

    You can have a stance on both. There are Gnostic Theists (there is definitely a god), Gnostic Atheists (there is definitely no god), Agnostic Theists (I believe in a god, but I accept it as belief alone), and Agnostic Atheists (I don’t believe in any gods and I don’t think anyone will ever prove otherwise).

    Everyone who doesn’t believe in any gods, grand creators, “spiritual energy that binds us all together,” or what have you is an atheist. Don’t gatekeep just because someone is less militant than you, especially on a post you’re making out of frustration toward those more militant than you.


  • You’re not wrong of course, but I really need people to understand that this level of detail is not what a top-level reply to a lower-end technical question is aiming for. Maybe this will be helpful to someone, but I already knew it and didn’t need it sent to me, and it’s going to go above OP’s head. For the average end user, this is abstracted somewhere in the “host stuff” layer, and that’s fine.