I hate discord as much as the next lemming, but it’s meant to be a quick chat style service, so lack of proper spelling and punctuation doesn’t bother me like it does on most other social media. As long as the information you get from others is correct, who cares about the spelling tbh.
Infinite poop.
You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell.
The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can’t free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates.
The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier.
The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you’ve broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness.
The poop accelerates. Forever.
deleted by creator
Oh. My. God…
So what you’re saying is, I need to dip myself in egg and then get fried? Will that finally get my parents to be proud of me?
What is my purpose?
I have a pillow both to the left of me and the right so I always have one to grab when I turn over.
Just wanted to say that both of your replies are great comments, they’re both useful and positive, love seeing comments like yours. They’re well thought out replies!
People like you help to give me back some of my faith in humanity.
Buddy, your account is 10 hours old and all you’ve contributed is negativity. I’m not surprised you can’t get laid, your attitude is bad and you seem like an unpleasant person based off the tone of your comments.
Nobody likes someone that’s perpetually angry. Buddy’s advice to you basically boiled down to “be yourself and be a genuinely kind person” and you just straight up dismiss it as “faking it”. If you have to fake being nice then you should get some help.
Ten forward is a good example, the big posters in c/risa got fed up with the mods and made ten forward on Lemmy.world. Now I almost never see risa anymore but ten forward is always on the front page.
Huh interesting, it shows up as a gif when I send it as a text, guess I’ll have to upload gifs to a 3rd party website next time.
My bad.
Edit: Does this show as a gif for anyone else? I’m using sync and that just shows a static picture unless I click on it.
“It’s a big club and you ain’t in it”
That sucks, I hope things get better for you and your neighbors, even if I doubt it, sadly.
As much as I would love if you guys did that, practically guaranteed you’d all be fucked in some way because “rules for thee not for me”
Can’t be having filthy peasants disturbing the very hard working politicians and local rich people 🙄
God I hate how the world works.
Jesus. Anything over 20c is too much for me. I can’t even fathom what 50c feels like and I hope I never have to experience that.
Yeah, we in Canada aren’t having the greatest time unless you already own a house or are very well off already. No working class person is gonna be buying a house without god tier credit and skimping on everything as much as possible and even then itll be insanely hard. Rent? Went from 1800 for an old but well maintained 3 bedroom in 2017 in a nice neighbourhood to 3 fucking grand for a run down shit hole 3 bedroom in a sketchy neighbourhood with a slum lord. That was mid 2022. Shits only gotten worse since then.
Where I live you basically have only 3 options for work. Minimum wage like grocery stores, fast food etc(which are 90% TFWs cause nO oNe WaNtS tO wOrK). Government jobs for people with an education. Construction/camp jobs if you want more than minimum wage without a degree, but your old age is gonna be worse than it already is due to trading your body for a higher wage.
I’m all for good people coming here, but make sure you know what you’re getting into first. It’s fucking expensive to live here unless you wanna live in a shit hole small town (which has its own hidden expenses that eat into the savings on rent)
Where’s the line? Should normal people also not be able to have German Shepard’s since they’re also dangerous if not raised properly? I had a GS in the past and she was one of the best dogs I’ve ever had, amazing and funny personality and insanely loveable. But that’s because she was brought up in a house where she was treated right and raised right.
Blame the dumbass owners not the dogs themselves ffs. Just because you or someone else is scared of certain dogs doesn’t mean they should be blanket banned for everyone.
It’ll burn my asshole on the way out, does that count?
Same here, mushrooms are the one thing I never grew out of hating. Everything about them is disgusting to me from the weird texture, the way they look, and the mouldy/dirty taste they have. Mushrooms are pretty much the only food I 100% refuse to eat no matter what.
After hexbear got defederated from most of the major instances, the fucking losers just make alts on different instances so they can continue defending that propaganda filled shithole. Now .ml seems like the new worst, no matter what you do these no-life losers will find a way to spread their bullshit.
Takes much more effort to try and stop them than it does for these losers to make alts unfortunately.